


Beautiful.

by ItsGatsbyNotGatz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Tsukishima Kei, First Love, M/M, Top Yamaguchi Tadashi, Unhappy Ending, implied kuroo/tsukki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29150220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsGatsbyNotGatz/pseuds/ItsGatsbyNotGatz
Summary: Tsukishima Kei has always been beautiful. Yamaguchi Tadashi has always been in love with him, and he'll take him however he can have him.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 77
Collections: Tsukiyama Brainrot





	Beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> went feral and wrote in this in like three hours

Tsukishima Kei has always been beautiful. He was beautiful at the park, on the volleyball court, in the classroom, on Yamaguchi’s bed after school playing games on his phone. And fuck, if Yamaguchi isn’t in love with him. 

He’s in love with the way Tsukishima tugs on his headphone cord when he’s really listening to him.

He’s in love with the way Tsukishima’s glasses are a little too big and slip down his nose.

He’s in love with the freckle on the inside of Tsukishima’s left knee.

He’s in love with the way he buttons his shirts, the way he zips his jacket, ties his shoes, writes, reads, _breathes._ He’s in love with him, all of him. He loves him, he loves him, _he loves him_ , and he’s never going to tell anyone. 

Tsukishima is Yamaguchi’s best friend (even if Yamaguchi wants more than that).

He’s practically part of his family (even if he insists he isn’t).

He’s the only one allowed over when Yamaguchi’s parents aren’t home, like now. Like now, when they’re both sprawled out on the living room floor eating snacks. Like now, with Tsukishima in one of the many sets of pajamas he’s left at Yamaguchi’s house. Like right now, with Tsukishima scooching closer to him as they watch a shitty horror movie they both picked out. Yamaguchi’s been holding his breath for what feels like the entire time. He knows Tsukishima doesn’t like horror movies. He also knows that he won’t admit it. Why would he? It’s embarrassing to admit to being a guy who’s afraid of ghosts and jumpscares. But it makes him move closer, grip Yamaguchi’s hand when he gets scared. Yamaguchi doesn’t care one way or the other about the movie. He cares about how Tsukishima has his head in his lap. He cares about the hand he has in soft blond curls. He cares about the soft hum he can feel in his thighs because Tsukishima loves having his hair played with. He cares about how his best friend doesn’t move even when the end credits roll on the screen.

“Hey, Yamaguchi?” A hand moves to meet the one not shifting through golden hair. “Do you- we should practice kissing.” The hand in Tsukishima’s hair stills.

“Practice kissing?” Oh, fuck yes. He wants to kiss him so bad. He wants to kiss him for hours. He wants to kiss him until both of their mouths are purple and bruised. “Alright.” 

Tsukishima rolls over in his lap. Yamaguchi can’t believe his luck. The amount of times he’s dreamed about this, waited for this, longed for this, daydreamed about this when Tsukishima fell asleep before he did. Tsukishima starts to lean up. Yamaguchi comes down to meet him halfway.

Their noses bump. Tsukishima’s glasses smush up against his face. Their lips barely brush, hardly touch. It’s barely a shared breath, but it sends such electricity down Yamaguchi’s body. Tsukishima sits up and faces him. He leans in again. Yamaguchi takes his glasses off of his face.

“They’re in the way,” he says simply. He tosses them aside. He doesn’t care where they end up. He cares about kissing his best friend again. He doesn’t let Tsukishima protest before pulling him in again. He tilts his head a little more this time. He feels Tsukishima’s eyelashes flutter against his cheek as he closes his eyes. Yamaguchi quickly tires of the gentle press of their lips together. He needs more than this. Wants more of this. It might be the only chance he gets, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get all of it.

Tsukishima seems to agree, parting his lips slightly, and _oh,_ that’s it. Tsukishima is so sweet, so shy, hands fisting in Yamaguchi’s t-shirt like he needs to hold on. Yamaguchi has no such apprehension. He tangles one hand in Tsukishima’s hair, keeps the other steady on his waist. Tsukki lays back, letting Yamaguchi lean over him, lets him pin him to the floor. Yamaguchi settles his weight over his best friend. Their hips press together and he tries to keep the groan that threatens to escape him in his throat. 

Tsukishima is incredibly needy, quickly moving from shy to whiny, tugging on Yamaguchi’s shirt like this isn’t enough anymore. He pulls away, tilting his head back and pressing his hips up. This is Yamaguchi’s chance, might be his only chance. He grinds his hips down and kisses down his friend’s throat, keeping his eyes on Tsukishima’s cherry-red face as much as he can. He’s tossed his arm over his eyes, face red and lips starting to bruise. Oh, perfect. And of course Tsukishima is beautiful here, too. He’s gorgeous, face flushed, lips bruised, eyes teary as Yamaguchi slides a hand up his shirt. He lets out tiny gasps to even the smallest brush of fingers. So sensitive… Yamaguchi loves this about him, too. But Tsukki said he wanted to practice kissing, so Yamaguchi only kisses him. He doesn’t leave any marks, and he presses his hips down so it’s easier for Tsukki to rut against him, he doesn’t think twice about it. 

Yamaguchi keeps note of every place that makes Tsukki shiver or gasp the most. He ends up rubbing soft circles into his hip with his thumb. Tsukishima is utterly lost, mumbling Yamaguchi’s name over and over, tears dripping down his face, throwing in an absolutely pathetic “please” every now and then. Who is Yamaguchi to deny him? He kisses back up, underneath Tsukki’s ear, kisses away some of his tears. Comes back to press bruising kisses to his mouth. He presses their foreheads together, content to just breathe together for a moment. Tsukishima is shaking under him, hips losing rhythm as he whimpers.

“Kei…” Yamaguchi tries. Tsukishima practically cries out, pressing up against him and almost ripping Yamaguchi’s shirt with how hard he’s holding on. He yanks him down as he stills, kissing Yamaguchi as hard as he can as he comes down. 

He gets up and beelines for the bathroom as soon as his legs stop shaking. Yamaguchi opts to simply wipe himself down with a tissue and change his underwear before waiting in bed for Tsukki. They don’t always share a bed, but tonight he climbs in next to Yamaguchi without a word. He snuggles up against him, curled up to press his face in Yamaguchi’s chest. It’s rare that Tsukki surprises him, but this? Yamaguchi always figured he’d end up letting Tsukki take charge, but instead he’s running a hand through Tsukki’s hair and pressing gentle kisses to his forehead. 

Tsukishima Kei, submissive? Yamaguchi thinks he might love that, too. 

And it’s a good thing he does, because Tsukishima seems determined to make this a regular thing. All of a sudden he’s kissing Yamaguchi whenever their parents can’t see. He’s pulling him into empty classrooms, bathrooms, closets. He’s rutting against him in the club room when it’s just the two of them left. Yamaguchi doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, but he likes it. He likes when Tsukishima begins to insist that he practices leaving hickeys. That he practices biting. 

It’s halfway through their second year that Tsukishima practically begs Yamaguchi to let him practice giving head. And that becomes their new normal, too. Tsukishima doesn’t let a single day go by without being bitten and marked all over, and Yamaguchi can hardly make enough cum to satiate Tsukishima’s sudden lust for it (he definitely can). Of course, their older teammates give Tsukki shit every day for being marked up like a bitch, but he lets it slide off of him. The first years don’t dare try it, but Yamaguchi sees the looks they give each other. He has to bite back a grin every time knowing damn well that he’s the one leaving those marks. He’s the one who can almost still taste blood from the almost-too-deep bite he left on Tsukki’s thigh, the one he knows is making him blush and pant all through practice. He’s the reason Tsukishima sucks on his fingers as discreetly as he can, trying to taste him again. 

It’s ridiculous really, how Tsukki begs to be kissed and touched and marked, and how he’s always begging to be on his knees. Really, Tsukishima Kei, smartest in their year, biggest bully on their volleyball team, standing at six foot three, down on his knees with tears in his eyes, absolutely begging to suck dick? Yamaguchi wouldn’t believe it if he weren’t the one being begged. 

Here he is, being begged again. 

Tsukki’s parents are out of town for the weekend visiting a sick aunt or something, Yamaguchi was only half listening anyway, which means he’s spending the whole time at Tsukki’s house. Which really means he isn’t getting Tsukishima, star student, or Tsukki, his best friend. He’s getting _Kei,_ who’s spending the weekend so deep in his subspace that he’s almost unrecognisable. Yamaguchi fucking loves it. He’s the one who gets Kei, no one else, and he’ll treasure it until he dies.

Which might be soon, if Kei keeps looking up at him through those stupid long eyelashes as he chokes on cock for the third time today. He’s gotten insanely good at it these past few months, despite his horrible gag reflex. He’s so pretty like this, Yamaguchi thinks, on his knees with hot tears dripping down his face. He can’t really take all of it, but he tries so hard, gagging and pulling back only to try again, and again, and it creates an absolutely tantalizing rhythm that Yamaguchi imagines is so uniquely Kei. He only uses one hand, the other one furiously working on himself. That part is just hot, how desperately he gets off to sucking dick. He whines, and it makes Yamaguchi shiver. They’re both close, and Kei knows it.

He pulls off instead of finishing the job, licking his swollen lips and then shyly all the way up Yamaguchi’s dick.

“Do you think…” he starts, blush extending all the way down to his chest. “Maybe you should practice, um… eating ass…?” The last part is so quiet, Yamaguchi wouldn’t have heard it if his whole world didn’t consist of the blond kneeling in front of him.

“Oh?” Frankly, he thinks the whole practicing thing is getting a little old, but it’s cute how Kei won’t just say what he wants up front. For this, though? Yamaguchi wants him to say it. “Ask properly for what you want.” Kei whines, leaning his head on Yamaguchi’s thigh. Yamaguchi settles back against the couch and waits. If Kei wants it bad enough, he’ll just say it. And he wants him to say it. He wants him to say it so goddamn bad. He’s never actually touched Kei. He only ever gets head and then the blond is off the floor, swallowing and zipping his pants back up. It’s a little frustrating. 

Kei worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplates actually asking. The hand on his own dick has moved to rest on Yamaguchi’s, long fingers giving lazy strokes occasionally followed by light kisses. Yamaguchi busies himself with playing with Tsukishima’s hair. It’s getting longer. It’s easier to tug on it. Softer today, too. He must have bought a new conditioner. Finally, Kei speaks up.

“P- please,” he starts, hesitant. “Please eat me out…” A quiet plea, but Yamaguchi has him flipped over on the couch before Kei can get properly embarrassed. 

“So polite, Kei. Good boy.” He doesn’t miss the way Kei’s back arches ever so slightly at the praise. Honestly…

Yamaguchi tugs Kei’s underwear down. Okay, maybe he’s seen his ass before, but this is different. He’s never seen it when Kei is arching his back, spreading his legs, _begging_ him to play with it. And he must have already done some of that himself when Yamaguchi wasn’t paying attention, because he hadn’t managed to clean up all the way. Kei clenches around nothing and Yamaguchi’s dick throbs at the small trickle of lube. Or maybe he hadn’t gotten it on purpose. Kei was already a mess in the front, his lap covered in spilled drool and precum. It’s Yamaguchi’s turn to make his ass the same. He’s overcome with the sudden urge to fuck him, so strong it makes his stomach lurch. But it’s not what Kei asked for, and he’s not going to push it. 

He decides to start with a single finger, scooping up spilled lube and shoving it back in. There’s absolutely no resistance, and he wonders how much Kei fingers himself to already be like this. It almost makes him jealous, actually. He hums, moving his finger around slightly.

“Do you really play with your own ass, Kei? That’s kinda slutty,” he says, casually, like he’s mentioning the weather. He crooks his finger and only gets a whine in response. One finger and Kei’s already this far gone. Insane…

Yamaguchi wants to make him fall apart. He wants Kei to only rely on him to get off. 

So he puts himself to work. Honestly, this isn’t the sort of thing he knows anything about. He’d only ever really looked up how to give head or how to prepare to get fucked. But it turned out Kei wasn’t really a top at all, and now he was trying to turn all that knowledge around. He just… never got around to looking up the other stuff.

As it turns out, even his mediocre job seems to be enough. Kei cums twice on his fingers and his mouth, making Yamaguchi wish they’d set a towel down. He turns over onto his back after the second time, dragging Yamaguchi down for a harsh kiss. Kei’s hands make quick work of Yamaguchi’s painfully hard dick, and they part as he cums. Kei shuts his eyes, like he knows some of it will get on his face. And it does, but before Yamaguchi can really appreciate how pretty he looks, he’s swiping his fingers through it to lick it off. Yamaguchi is sure some of what’s on his stomach is his own, but he’s licking that up too, like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. _What a whore…_

He seems to be entirely worn out after that, as any person would be, so Yamaguchi helps him up and into the bathroom. He likes messing around with Kei, but he loves the after. In the after, Kei is clingy. He keeps his face in Yamaguchi’s shoulder, whining for gentle kisses and praise. 

Yamaguchi cleans him off, helps him bathe, and then brings him pajamas his brother got for him. They’re covered in dinosaurs, and Kei had insisted they were too childish, but they were already worn soft after only a year. These were the ones Yamaguchi always puts him in. Kei isn’t small, by any means. He’s tall, and his lankiness is starting to turn into being lean muscle. But the pajamas were bought thinking that he’d have some massive growth spurt, so they’re two sizes too big and Kei looks tiny in comparison. 

He sits on the bed, rubbing an eye through a floppy sleeve, holding a stuffed dinosaur with the other hand. His glasses are pushed up onto his forehead. He’s not usually cute, but like this? Sleepy in too-big pajamas asking for a glass of water? Yamaguchi would argue that he’s downright adorable. He loves him like this, exhausted from trying so hard to please. He knows that in about an hour, he’ll see the switch from Kei, _his_ Kei, into Tsukki, and when they wake up he’ll just be Tsukishima again. But that’s fine. He had Kei for a while today, and he’d gladly welcome Tsukki back.

But for now, he falls into Kei’s outstretched arms and kisses bruised pouty lips. They fall asleep with Kei curled up against Yamaguchi, who wonders just how much longer this will get to last.

A while, it seems, because towards the end of their third year, Tsukishima tells Yamguchi he needs to fuck him. For practice, of course. Yamaguchi agreed so fast it made his head spin. 

Finally getting to fuck Tsukishima? After almost three years of getting to kiss him and touch him almost every day? This is what he’s been waiting for. 

At this point, he’s so madly in love with Tsukki that he might as well go ahead and change his last name, but they aren’t even officially dating. They don’t really hold hands, or say “I love you”, or any of the things you usually do when you date. Yamaguchi pretends it’s just because he’s shy. Maybe it is. Who knows?

Tsukishima uses his birthday money to get them a cheap hotel room in the next town over. The man at the front desk gives them a strange look, but says nothing. The room isn’t much, just a bed and a bathroom mostly, but it’ll work. Yamaguchi feels like he’s going to burst out of his skin. He’s been half hard the entire way here, and if he doesn’t get to touch Tsukishima soon he’ll certainly die. He looks up to Tsukishima, but all he finds is Kei.

This is a first.

It usually takes a little bit of coaxing to pull his sweet little Kei out, even if he’s the one who started it, but he’s already red-faced and biting his lip. He’s pressing his thighs together, shoulders hunched, and Yamaguchi is glad he isn’t the only one. 

They end up half naked on the bed much faster than Yamaguchi normally might have liked, but this isn’t a normal night. Kei seems much more sensitive than usual, and he can’t place his finger on why. He’d been a little jumpy since they left, bordering on Kei since they were on the train just checking their phones.

He realises why as he tugs Kei’s underwear off. The inside is already sticky with cum, and upon further inspection he finds that apparently, Kei had somehow gotten ahold of a vibrator, and he’d had it in this whole time. The cum that covers him is already partially dry, and Yamaguchi’s dick throbs at the idea that he might have cum in front of someone else. While they were checking in? On the train? He savors the idea, wondering if he should get one of the bluetooth ones for Kei for their first real date.

“Hurry up,” Kei whines, and that snaps Yamaguchi out of it. He needs to focus. No need fantasizing about the future when Kei is already spread out in front of him right now. 

Yamaguchi switches the vibrator off and yanks it out. He probably could have been gentler, but the way Kei whines and his dick twitches convinces him he made the right choice. He knows he probably doesn’t have to finger him, but he wants to, so he gets comfortable and watches as Kei practically fucks himself on Yamaguchi’s fingers. He cums like that, and even though Yamaguchi knows he’ll be more sensitive when they actually do it, he cherishes the thought. He’ll be absolutely radiant, he just knows it. 

When he finally, _finally_ presses into him, he groans. Kei is already crying and whimpering, arms thrown around Yamaguchi’s neck as he practically folds himself in half. Kei’s whole body is flushed red, covered in deep purple hickeys and bright red bite marks. His hair is spread out over the pillow like a halo, glasses gone and eyelashes wet with tears.

He’s beautiful. Tsukishima Kei has always been beautiful. 

Yamaguchi can really only hold himself back so long before he starts to move his hips. Kei moves to meet him, and they quickly settle into a brutal pace. Yamaguchi only slows down to keep either of them from cumming too fast. 

He flips them after a little while, letting Kei ride him. He lifts himself up on shaky thighs before slowly sinking back down. He doesn’t try and hide his moans like he does when they’re at home. They’re gorgeous. Kei sounds gorgeous. He looks it, too, as he finds the spot he’s looking for and begins absolutely slamming himself down. He has no real rhythm, just a fast pace and fingers scraping for hold on Yamaguchi’s stomach.

Yamaguchi knows when Kei is about to cum, because he stops lifting himself so much and really just rocks. He’s really just focusing on himself, and that’s fine, because he keeps clenching and moaning and whimpering Yamaguchi’s name like it’s a prayer, and that’s more than enough. Yamaguchi cums moments after Kei does. He sits up to kiss him and only when he can breathe again does he even try to speak.

“I love you, Kei.”

And so they go on like that for the rest of third year and after they graduate. It seems like Kei will take dick anywhere he can get it, and Yamaguchi is more than glad to give it to him. He doesn’t hold back his I love you’s anymore, and sometimes Kei is coherent enough to say it back. Sometimes it’s okay that he doesn’t, when he’s been fucked stupid and can’t say much of anything at all. Other times it stings, like he doesn’t say it because he won’t mean it. But Kei is only sleeping with Yamaguchi, so that’s good enough for now.

He thought it was, anyway. As soon as they go off to their separate colleges, he doesn’t hear from Tsukishima anymore. He texts, he calls, he tries to visit when he goes home, but Tsukishima’s parents haven’t seen him either. It’s like he just disappeared.

Yamaguchi hates it. He wants to hate Tsukki for doing this, but he can’t. He loves him too much. 

So instead he keeps a book of pictures of the both of them, hangs framed pictures of Tsukki, reads their old texts. He checks obituaries all across the country every morning to make sure he’s alive, and when he finds out Tsukki is a professional volleyball player, he watches every televised game he can. 

Tsukishima is gorgeous, hair as golden as ever, casual glasses exchanged for contacts. His playing is more refined, his spikes more powerful and his blocks more ironclad. His serves are incredible.

Tsukishima Kei is still beautiful. And Yamaguchi stills loves him.

So when he gets a text from him, with a time, a date, a location, and a note to “dress nice and don’t tell anyone”, he shows up without question. He finds himself at a house at the specified time. Some silly part of him wonders if this is a date. He hopes it is. He wants to kiss him again so bad that he decides he will, as soon as Tsukki opens the door.

But it isn’t Tsukki who opens the door. 

It’s Kuroo, in a nice suit. He grins when he sees Yamaguchi, bringing him into the house.  
There’s a few other people there, but not many. Not people he knows, or recognises. None of them are Tsukki.

“Where’s-” 

“Just have a seat,” Kuroo tells him, bringing him to the backyard. There’s a few chairs set up, to have a row in the middle and there’s flowers and-

Yamaguchi gets a sinking feeling in his gut. He sits where Kuroo puts him, on the mostly empty side, right at the front. He can’t look at Kuroo, who stands at the head of the aisle. 

He doesn’t look when the music plays.

He doesn’t look when Tsukishima comes down the aisle. 

He doesn’t stay for the reception, leaving as soon as he hears cheering.

He doesn’t want to see any of it. He doesn’t have to.

Tsukishima Kei is beautiful, even when he’s marrying somebody else.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> not sure what possessed me to do this considering I'm a Yamaguchi kinnie in love with Tsukishima but ok


End file.
